I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
