Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
