The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
