So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
