this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
