I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize