Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
