you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
