i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
