so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
