walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Randomize