Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
