There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
