Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
