This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
