shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
