thus making me awesome and them whores
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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