How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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