Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Text me some of your sweat
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
