where am i from again
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
