Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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