Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
