yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
