i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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