Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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