i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
