You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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