You really coming over, don't trick.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
