My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So many bounce houses so little time
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
