It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
