Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
