guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
