I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
