Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
