All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i black out too much to be "responsible"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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