Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i believe in u and ur pee
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
