weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
