you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I need to calm my uterus...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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