Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
