He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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