my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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