he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And then my night got REAL pukey
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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