my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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