Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
its not stalking. its research.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
