white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
