So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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