I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
