READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
