If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
