just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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