It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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