i already hear my dad disowning me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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