im drinking this country out of the recession.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
