Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
