yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
