my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
