Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
