I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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