i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
