I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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