ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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