do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
