How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Randomize
