Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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